Friday, 23 July 2010

five things

Yahoo (exclamation mark) News has an incisive headline tonight: 'five things you should never put in a dishwasher'. I did not click the link to find out what they are, so I'm going to guess

1. Babies

2. Pets

3. Musical instruments

4. Electrical appliances

5. Geraniums

...and, now I think of it

6. radioactive waste

7. endangered species

8. firewood

9. soft furnishings

10. your passport

11. former wrestling star Giant Haystacks

12. the Stanley Cup

13. cheese

In fact, now I really think of it, Yahoo (exclamation mark) could’ve saved itself a lot of time by just listing the things you can put in a dishwasher, because I suspect that list is considerably shorter.


zircon11 said...

While #9 - soft furnishings - makes sense, I was just an itsy bit disappointed because it immediately conjured for me a myopic mistaking the dishwasher for the washing machine and lustily cramming in smaller household items, perhaps along with (#2) a cat that had been peacefully nestling in a cushion that was about to be deluged and swiped at by those agitator blades. Sort of a Mister Magoo meets Itchy & Scratchy moment. Oh dear, am I really so transparently warped?

Anonymous said...

Yahoo is very busy with these kinds of lists that invariably state the obvious:

How to cut your phone bill? Make calls at Off Peak times.

Insomnia? Cut back on the caffeine

What NOT to say to your boyfriend:
"My ex used to do the exact same thing."

Now if there were some useful ones, like "5 ways to get jackfruit sap off your hands" I would feel that I had had made good use of time reading those articles...

G x

Allison Fairbairn said...

Our former cleaning lady used to put the electric frying pan in our dishwasher, cord and all. You think this stuff is common sense, but it isn't always.

Is there really a former wrestling star named Giant Haystacks? That is fantastic.

Amber said...

Zed: a schoolteacher of mine once accidentally washed her kitten in the washing machine with a big red coat. It not being a north American toploader she had to break the door off with a large screwdriver and then stood ankle-deep in red water swinging the cat to empty its lungs of soapy water. (it survived).

G: I will file the jackfruit thing away for future reference.

Pants: Yes. He used to wrestle a guy named Big Daddy. This was back in England when I was a child and this was all fields...

Leslie said...

I'm just impressed that you know someone with enough space in their laundry room to swing a red cat.

Amber said...

Ah, this was England, remember, where 'laundry room ' equals 'kitchen'.

Actually, that would still be a big kitchen. It's more of an up-and-down swing when you are trying to empty your kitten's lungs of detergent, I am told, though, so you only need space in one direction.

Anonymous said...

Chantalle here:
Amber, I have actually put the first 2 items in a microwave... still wanna consider Saskatoon as your home???

Amber said...

Chantalle, you are clearly quite mad. Can anyone in Saskatoon be persuaded to restrain you, or must I really come back and do it myself, for the good of humanity? Anyone?