Something wrong with me.
Must be kept away from those I admire.
AMBER (thinks she said, to wickedawesome author): Love your book! So funny! Like sunshine! So clever! And funny! Loved it!
(actually said something like): Um. Your husband just kinda insulted my friend, I think.
WAA: Wow. Thanks. Also, get a sense of humour. Shall I sign this for you?
AMBER (thinks she said, to talentedsmiley musician): Love your music! Want to come hear it! Too lacking in common sense and overexcited to figure out your website! Please help me out!
(actually said something like): Dude, your website sucks.
TSM: Um, I feel so lucky you will be coming to my gig. How I wish you were in our neck of the woods more often.
AMBER (thinks she said, to world’sloveliest musician): Love your…everything! Your song in my head all day…until I died of happiness! Must hear more!
(actually said something like): God, all day, over and over. Write some more damn songs, will ya? Jeez. What’s the holdup?
WLM: (fortunately, maintains radio silence)
Somebody. Stop. Me.