Upon rocking Halloween-at-work dressed as a zombie (undead-icated to serving your library community. Ha ha), the following truths:
1. Coworkers’ children aged 3 and under – not fazed in the slightest by the undead. Even ones that are bleeding from the eyes (hey, go big or go home, I say). More confused by the foreign accent. Will accept candy without batting an eyelid.
2. Coworkers’ children aged 4 and up – totally freaked the frack out by the undead. Will be brought to tears. Not even candy will undo the damage. Nor will parents’ insistence that the zombie is in fact ‘not real’ (never mind the existential questions this causes in the mind of the zombie herself).
3. If you are committed to the blackened fingernails of the undead, but are someone who has never used nail polish ever in your life, there is a time to realise that the purchase of such a substance should also be accompanied by nail polish remover. There is a point at which this realisation is too late. But then, have you ever heard me say “let’s think this through to its logical conclusion”?
4. Black face paint does an excellent job, but you might as well just tattoo your eye sockets, because once it’s on? That stuff ain’t going nowhere.